If It Weren't for Tugger
by Misterfleas
Summary: Basically, Misto being an annoying furball and getting on Munkustrap's nerves. I was bored and have no life; please read and review.


**Ok, so originally, this was meant to be written for Hazelthorn's unusual couples contest. Couple: Mistoffelees and Munkustrap. But I just couldn't bring myself to slash them. *sigh***

**Anyways, there are actually no couples whatsoever in it. But I still had to post it; I mean it took me all day to write the darn thing so I thought "Well, I guess it's still a funny little story."**

**I hope you all enjoy it, but just a warning: I thought I'd be a big jerkface and mess around with the personalities a bit. So, Tugger is a smarypants that acts like a idiot all the time; Misto is a sardonic teenage-like meanieface with a weird sence of humor and a bad attitude (I think it was his time of the month), And Munkustrap is a ...well, he's prety much the same; overprotective and overbearing.**

**Sorry it's kind of long; I wasn't sure how to end it. And I bet you're getting annoyed that the authors note is ridiculously long, so stop reading this and get on with reading my story! ...please?**

**_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**If It Weren't For Tugger**

Mistoffelees had never given the silver tabby much thought. The only thing they had in common was Tugger: Tugger was Misto's best friend; Tugger was Munkustrap's younger brother. But that was before the accident.

**xXxXxXx**

It was a bright spring morning; the birds were chirping and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. As usual, Mistoffelees was stretched out on the piles of junk relaxing while he watched Tugger flirt with the ladies, 'play' with the kittens, and basically run around the Junkyard making a complete nuisance of himself. Just watching Tugger made Misto tired.

Eventually, as always, Tugger got bored of his 'fun and games' and came over to bother, excuse me, _hang out_ with Mistoffelees. Misto didn't know why he put up with that cat.

"Hey, Misto! How's it going?" Tugger meowed, obnoxiously.

"Just fine until you showed up."

"Mr. Grumpystripes is having bad day, hmm?" Tugger drawled.

"I don't have stripes." Misto mewed, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, you do. I've seen them they're on your- whoa!" Tugger jumped, dodging a lightning bolt.

Sometimes Misto just had no patience for the black and leopard spotted tom. Luckily, Misto's magic missed Tugger completely and hit a random pile of junk instead. Tugger grinned like a complete moron and started to make his way back towards the prickly tuxedo tom. Unfortunately, things did not go exactly as Tugger planned.

Tugger's paw got stuck on a piece of the junk pile; he wobbled and fell ten feet down to the Junkyard floor. His paws hit the ground in with sickening crack, causing everycat to turn in his general direction; the Rum Tum Tugger let out a horrible howl.

Immediately several cats dashed over to see what happened; the sight was not pretty. Tugger's back right leg was sticking out at an impossible angle. Munkustrap got there first.

"Did any cat see what happened?" he demanded.

A shaky Misto dropped from his ledge to the ground beside him, "He fell." Misto mewed in a stained voice, "He fell from up there."

Misto indicated a particularly high pile of junk with a flick of his tail; Munkustrap fixed the barley-grown-up tom with a hard stare.

"That's not nearly high enough to break a leg." Munkustrap meowed; there was definitely accusation in his voice.

"You trying to say that I had something to do with it?" Misto half-growled.

"Did you?" Munkustrap asked.

"No, I…I don't know." Mistoffelees realized in confusion.

"What do you mean you don't know!?" Munk exclaimed angrily.

"I don't know!" Misto yowled.

And there was no asking Tugger; the mane coon had promptly passed out from the shock or the pain, maybe both. Misto and Munku stood glaring at each other only to stop when Tugger let out a pained moan.

"Someone go get Jenny!" Munkustrap meowed to no cat in particular.

Misto knew there wasn't much Jenny would be able to do for an injury like that; it was then that he realized what he had to do.

"Stand back." He ordered, nudging Munk to the side.

"What do you think you're doing?" Munk meowed in disbelief; no one ever ordered him around that way (with the exception of Old Deuteronomy.)

"I'm going to fix it." Misto mewed quietly.

"How in Heaviside-"

Misto, quite literally, shoved Munkustrap out of the way; and before Munk could do anything about it, Golden light surrounded Misto and Tugger both. When the light cleared away, Misto was shaking and breathing heavily; Tugger's eyes opened.

"Tugger, are you alright?!" Munkustrap exclaimed.

Tugger blinked stupidly and sat up; he hesitantly stretched his back leg. Munkustrap watched as Tugger's eyes widened in surprise.

"It doesn't hurt at all now." Tugger meowed, "What-"

Tugger was interrupted as Mistoffelees gave an involuntary gasp of pain and fell over. Mistoffelees leg was killing him; _what did I do?_ He thought deliriously, and then everything went dark.

**xXxXxXx**

Pain. Misto couldn't open his eyes; he knew he was breathing raggedly. His leg felt as if some cat had broken their claws inside of it; and they were still there piercing, hurting. And he was hot, unbearably hot; never before did he ever wish his fur would hurry up and fall out. Misto's head was pounding; dark…sleep.

Cold; wet; some cat splashed water on him. Misto blinked the water out of his eyes; he felt it trickle down his whiskers and into his mouth. The heat was gone, but the pain was still there.

Someone was trying to put something in his mouth. _No, I don't want it. _Misto couldn't find the words; he didn't even have the strength to refuse as they succeeded in getting whatever it was in him. _Mouse. _He realized. It was disgusting; he tried to spit it out. _No, I don't eat mice! _He protested, but to no avail.

Misto gasped in pain; he had attempted to roll over. Needles, daggers; the claws were still there. _How long has it been?_

It was still dark, but Misto could hear.

"Has he woken up yet?' Someone meowed; _Munkustrap?_

"No. But he's fighting this. I'm sure he'll wake up soon." Replied a gentler voice, a she-cat; maybe Jenny.

Misto listened to the murmur of the voices for a while longer, but he couldn't make out the rest of the conversation. Soon he wearily fell back into his coma-like sleep.

**xXxXxXx**

Misto twitched his nose; a tickle, a gentle twitch of his whiskers. He opened his eyes for the first time in a long time; he had to blink several times before his eyes adjusted to the light. He realized groggily that he was in Jennyanydots den; she was sitting close by, and by the looks of things, she had nodded off.

Misto realized that he was unbelievably hungry; he sat up automatically and froze. To his great surprise the compulsorily action did not pain him in the slightest. Misto stood and was surprised that this didn't hurt either, however his leg was so stiff that he fell over. The muted thud was enough to wake Jenny, who had ears trained for catching the slightest movements of the sneakiest kittens. She sat up and looked a Misto, who was trying to stand again.

"MISTOFFELEES! WHAT IN HEAVISIDE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Jenny yowled.

Misto flattened his ears, but stayed balanced –precariously– on all four paws; he took a step and wobbled. Jenny, who had dashed over surprisingly fast for her age, steadied him. She then promptly boxed him around the ears which, in his weakened state, caused Misto to fall over.

"WHAT KIND OF MORON TRIES TO WALK AFTER BEING UNCONSIOUS FOR SIX DAYS!?" Jenny screeched.

Misto really wished she wouldn't yell; it was hurting his ears.

"Six days?" Misto croaked; his voice sounded weird after having not been used in quite some time.

"Jenny, is something wrong?! Why are you yelling?!"

Munkustrap had come flying into Jenny's den as soon as he heard her from all the way across the junkyard. He looked around wildly, trying the pinpoint the reason for her distress. Misto met Munk in the eyes; Munkustrap's eyes widened in surprise.

"Mistoffelees! You're awake!" he exclaimed.

"It's nice to know that you can sometimes sound as stupid as your brother, Captain Obvious." Misto grumbled; he wasn't in a very good mood.

Munkustrap frowned and looked as if he would like to claw the ears off the smart-mouthed tuxedo tom. _Oh, the Audacity!_

Although he would never admit it to any cat, a tiny bit of him respected Mistoffelees for his blatant insolence; no other cat was bold enough to speak to Munkustrap that way (discounting the Rum Tum Tugger, of course.)

Casting a sidelong glance at Jenny, Misto – once again– pushed himself to his feet. He took an unsteady step, earning him another cuff from Jenny, who is not as stupid as he must obviously think she is.

"Ow, Jenny!" Misto complained

"You need rest." Jenny exclaimed, "Stop trying to get up!"

"I feel fine." Misto assured her, stretching his leg for emphasis, "Really."

"That should have taken weeks to heal." Jenny meowed, dumbfounded.

Mistoffelees sat and gave his paw a lick; _hmm_, he contemplated.

"Maybe, it's the magic." He meowed finally.

"Magic is what did that to you to begin with." Munkustrap pointed out, "What were you thinking?"

"That I could heal your _moron_ of a brother." Misto mewed cheekily.

"Don't talk about Tugger like that." Munkustrap rebuked.

Mistoffelees stared him down, a pure act of defiance in the cat world. Munkustrap bristled along his spine and padded up to Misto so that they were nose to nose.

"Listen here, you insolent little furball, if you think-"

Munkustrap was distracted at once as Mistoffelees gave him a healthy lick between the eyes. Now that was the last straw! Munkustrap knocked Misto off his feet, which wasn't very hard, seeing as the cat could barely stand, and pinned him to the ground roughly.

"MUNKUSTRAP!" Jenny shrieked, "GET OFF HIM THIS INSTANT!"

Munk tripped over his own paws in his hasten to obey the fiery she-cat; he flattened his ears and backed away slowly with his tail brushing across the ground.

Misto, who had just had the wind knocked out of him, took a deep gulp of air.

"GET OUT!" Jenny yelled at Munkustrap.

Munkustrap quickly exited the den, and did not dare come back.

**xXxXxXx**

Misto thought it was best to humor Jenny and stay in her den for a few days; although it was _really_ boring and she kept trying to make him eat mice.

"I thought you liked to teach the mice, not eat them." Misto sighed one night as she tried to serve him mouse, yet again.

"Sometimes they like to get cheeky with me, and I have to show them who's boss." Jenny replied, fixing Misto with a stare.

_Yeesh!_ Mistoffelees couldn't tell if she was being serious or not, but it sounded more like a warning than a conviction.

"I'm not eating it." Misto mewed stubbornly, "It has a family."

"So do fish, but you have no problem eating them." Jenny replied shortly.

"Yeah, well, fish don't talk." Misto grumbled, shoving the mouse away with a look of disgust.

"How would you know?" Jenny meowed, "Have you ever taken the time to ask one before killing it and stuffing your face?"

Misto turned away from Jenny and murmured some choice words under his breath.

"What was that?" Jenny asked; _ears like a bat, that one!_

"Nothing." Misto lied through his teeth.

"Ok, Mistoffelees. If you eat your mouse like a good kitten, I'll let you leave the den tomorrow." Jenny mewed; a compromise.

_I am _not_ a kitten; I'm nearly two years old!_

"Why don't you take that mouse and shove it up your-"

"Hey Misto!" Someone yowled brightly, cutting Misto off (lucky for him.)

Mistoffelees had never been happier to see the Rum Tum Tugger in his life.

"I've come to bust you out!" Tugger meowed cheerfully.

"What?" Misto and Jenny exclaimed at the same time.

And before either cat could do anything, Tugger grabbed Misto by the scruff, flung the cat on his back, and took off into the night. Misto bristled and clung to Tugger's mane for dear life. _How in Heaviside does he expect to out run Jenny?!_

"Now would be a good time for some teleportation." Tugger huffed breathlessly, "Unless you _want_ to get caught!"

_Oh, that's how. _Misto picked a destination and twitched his nose.

Tugger stopped running, and let Misto fall ungracefully to the floor; the mane coon was completely out of breath for all the running. _I'm not _that_ heavy!_

Misto had brought them to the human house they both lived in; _I wonder if they missed me? I_ have_ been gone four a few days…_

Right now Misto wanted nothing more than to curl up in his basket and fall asleep; he padded to the kitchen, where he and Tugger's sleeping baskets were.

"Misto, you're not gonna sleep, are you?" Tugger whined, "I've been bored without you around."

"Well, I'm tired." Misto yawned.

Tugger pouted, but did not complain further; perhaps he didn't feel like going to bed with singed fur tonight. Misto curled in his basket and fell almost instantly asleep.

**xXxXxXx**

The sun from the kitchen window fell on Misto, and warmed his dark fur; he stretched and tried to enjoy the last moments of sleep before he had to get up.

Misto opened his eyes to a familiar sight; it had been a long time since he'd last slept in his own nest. To his surprise, the Rum Tum Tugger was not only still at home, but in his own basket; you see, Misto had never seen Tugger sleep in his basket.

Tugger twitched an ear and moved his head to look at Misto, "Oh, you're finally awake." he mewed lazily.

He had obviously stayed up waiting for Misto wake up; _good, maybe he'll stay home and sleep._

Misto decided to leave the house before the humans woke up; no need to cause a scene. He padded over to the door and right out the cat flap. To his immediate delight, Tugger did not follow him.

He knew that he ought to go and apologize to Jenny for ditching her last night, but he didn't feel like having his ears boxed in this early in the morning. Maybe he would go to the junkyard anyways so they at least would know that he was still alive; Tugger was known to be rough with his victims.

As Misto padded into the main clearing, he noticed that not many cats were out. Jelly was chasing after some stray kittens, Admetus and Plato were watching, and Munkustrap was sitting on top of the old car. _Munkustrap!_

No sooner than he'd thought the name, the silver tabby slid off the car and padded over to him, almost as if Misto had called him over out loud. Misto quickly ran a licked paw over his head fur and tried to look inconspicuous.

"I heard you gave Jenny the slip last night." Munk meowed.

"Yeah… Tugger thought it'd be a grand idea to, what were his exact words… oh yeah, 'bust me out.'" Misto shrugged.

"She was quite angry." Munkustrap continued, "She barged over to my den and demanded that I…"

Misto didn't listen to the rest; instead he just stared deep into Munkustrap's eyes. They were beautiful; emerald green. Misto never noticed how a cat could get lost in another's eyes before. Munkustrap showed most of his emotion through his eyes; right now they showed slight agitation.

"Are you even listening to me?" Munkustrap meowed.

"You have pretty eyes." Misto mewed, cmpletely distracting the silver tom.

"I…what?" Munkustrap meowed uncomfortably.

Mistoffelees grinned sardonically and, as if in answer, licked Munkustrap across the face.


End file.
